Ben

When he was 6 years old, Ben Cordes shaved his head to look like Michael Jordan. It didn't work, so instead of imitating famous basketball stars for a living he decided to pursue creative direction. He also enjoys jokes and spaghetti.

hotpock

Sloppy Joe Hot Pocket SideShots

I know you done come wantin’ info ’bout them thar Hot Pockets. Well I got some news for you, Jimmy: SideShots ain’t like no Hot Pocket I ever saw. More like somebody gone and done cut ‘em in half then sewed ‘em up all nice like. Taste good too!

philearbuds

Philips Flexible Earhook Headphones

In the market for a new pair of headphones? Well I’ve got good news and better news. The good news is you’ve got a huge selection of products to choose from. The better news is that your selection is about to be…

doleshit

Dole Apple Cinnamon Fruit Crisp

Fruit in a cup, you ask? Fruit in a cup, says Dole. This fruit in a cup, however, comes with some fancy granola to mix in, thus adding a new dimension of texture. Or does it? Only Ben can answer that. Even if other people ate it, too.

spicy bisket

Chick-fil-A Spicy Chicken Biscuit

It’s like I always say: If it ain’t hot, it’ll bore your facial slot. I’ve actually never said that before, ever. I should start though. I should also start stopping these tangentially related digressions, but no thanks. Chick-fil-A Spicy Chicken Biscuit, anyone?

colibri

Colibri Syndicate Torch Lighter

It’d sure be nice if an utterance of “flame on” actually worked at home or in the office break room. Short of being a hit at parties, you’d never need to carry a lighter. It’d be perfect for all types of smoking! Too bad we’re mostly made of water.

infinityblade

Infinity Blade (iOS)

iOS games are really starting to shine, which is great for me because I’m all thumbs. Sign me up for an approving hand gesture contest and I’d take the platinum medal, no problem. Thanks to Infinity Blade, my fifth fingers have never been in better shape!

rage

Rage HD (iOS)

There’s virtually no limit to how many varied and helpful apps iOS developers can produce. Anything is possible on the iPhone, from recording a video of your friend teen wolfing to Googling directions to the nearest hospital. And now, mutant mayhem!

Zapps

Zapp’s Voodoo Gumbo Potato Chips

Zapp’s gave me a great idea for a chip company: Pew’s. I’d love to turn that dream into a reality. Can you imagine? Pew’s Buffalo Lazer Chips, Pew’s Fired Peppercorn Chips, Pew’s Master Blaster BBQ Chips, and eventually, Pew’s Puffs (cheese, of course). For now though, a Zapp’s review.

trialsdefault

Trials HD Big Thrills DLC (XBLA)

Do you enjoy thrills of a larger nature? Bigger than a house, even? How about thrills so epically huge, our own sun feels insecure and stuffs his pants with socks? Don’t ask why the sun thinks that’ll help anything; instead, ask only that you may have Big Thrills ASAP.

spacei

Space Invaders: Infinity Gene (XBLA)

Well, we’ve been invaded again. Per the usual routine, the intruders hail from space, and regardless of their motives, they must be destroyed. There are a lot of ways you can carry out your mission – employing nagoya attacks, using kamikaze tactics, or just plain Jane shooting for the kill. Whatever your preferred method, remember to never give an invader your quarters.