Maybe it’s just me, but all granola bars taste the same. Doesn’t really matter what flavor it is, whether it’s peanut butter, peanut butter and jelly, chocolate, cookie dough, or curry, which I don’t think exists, but in the interest of making a point I’ll pretend it does. It still tastes like a granola bar. As you can probably tell, I’m not the biggest fan of granola bars. When they change the fundamental ingredients, however, that gets my attention.

Quaker’s newest granola creation is the Chewy Smashbar. I guess they call it a Smashbar because they smashed the two new ingredients, graham crackers and pretzels, together. Despite the naturality of the three main ingredients – granola, graham crackers, and pretzels – they still rely on artificial flavors. For shame, Quaker. You used to be such a wholesome guy.

The fake flavors are obvious, too. The first bite I took tasted like a graham cracker, but as I continued to chew, the flavor got more and more intense. Way more intense than a normal graham cracker, and it had a strange, slightly off-putting vanilla flavor. The graham cracker pieces were chewy too, instead of crunchy as they normally are. I don’t know if they were just stale or if this is what they’re trying to pass as a graham cracker. I also can’t believe how many times I’ve said graham cracker in this paragraph. Let’s start a new one, shall we?

There are a few good things about this Smashbar. I’m slightly surprised, but the chocolate is actually real. Most cheap snacks of this nature would use some waxy, gross chocolate, but the Quaker chose to use some fine semi-sweet for this. In addition to the sweet flavors of the graham crackers and chocolate, the pretzels were a nice touch. They add a salty, crunchy texture to the granola bar, and if there’s one thing granola bars are usually lacking, it’s texture. And flavor.

I’d probably eat this over normal granola bars, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy either. The added texture makes for a more interesting snack, but it’s still nothing special. I’m glad they’re at least headed in the right direction, adding more variety to their snacks, but I’m afraid the Smashbar isn’t going to turn me into a Quaker.

3/7