Chewing gum has a surprisingly lengthy and interesting history. It goes back to the Neolithic period, even. We’ve found gum made of birch bark tar with tooth imprints in it that is over 5,000 years old. People chewed gum in the Stone Age. That is insane. Gum itself is actually pretty complex when you get down to the ingredients. While most gum companies have their own secret recipes, most commercial gums contain Elastomers (types of rubber), Resins (for cohesiveness), Waxes (softening agents), Fats (for plasticity), Emulsifiers (for hydration), Fillers (for texture), and Antioxidants (to extend shelf-life). Betcha don’t think about that when you pop a piece of gum in your facehole.

It actually makes gum kind of unappealing, knowing that it’s basically synthetic rubber, chemicals, and flavoring. But millions of people every day put it in their mouths. That’s what he said. Sorry. Makes you wonder how much more awful everything else is than it seems. It’s not like a pesky little thing like knowledge has ever stopped anyone from enjoying something that is temporarily good, though.

As far as gum goes, one of the top brands in my opinion is 5 gum. Perhaps it’s the Chicagoan in me subconsciously acknowledging that Wrigley manufactures it, or it could be the sleek packaging. Either way, 5 puts out some tasty gum. Our friend Emily has reviewed it before, so it’s no stranger to WRS. Their most recent product is of the fruity variety, which as I’ve noted before, isn’t my favorite type of gum because something that fruity is hard to not eat. Maybe I just eat too many gummies.

This “Prism” flavor is marketed as an “electric watermelon” flavor. It has a pleasant aroma that almost acts as an air freshener wherever you put it. It has like a five foot radius of watermelon waft. The taste of the gum is much less electric than I was expecting, to be honest. It’s actually kind of a sweet gum without much kick. The watermelon flavor is much like the Bubble Yum flavor, but you can’t crunch the sugar crystals in your teeth with Prism. Bubble Yum: Might as well poke holes in your teeth with needles!

I guess that sugar is there for a reason, though, because the watermelon flavor of 5 Gum’s Prism quickly turns just as weak as the flavor of a real watermelon. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good flavor, but it withers like Michael Douglas. That was so — SO — wrong, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to delete it. If you like watermelon gum, this is totally your thing. Up and at ‘em, Jimmy. If not, this is certainly one to pass up on at the cashier.