I have a new mission in life, and that mission is to secure a moment’s face time with the legendary Richard Belzer, if only to thank him for this book. Forget that his recurring character, Detective Munch, has appeared in a handful of hit TV shows, and abolish from your mind his supreme sense of the devilishly cool – black trench coat cloaked, cig in hand. Ignore all prior feats of awesome the Belz has demonstrated, save for this single achievement – UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don’t Have To Be Crazy To Believe. Abandoning all pretense won’t do you any disservice; he shows up in full to blow the lid off some utterly terrifying conspiracies, evoking intrigue and pulling laughs from the least expected places. And for those who have yet to experience the Belz, you’re in for a treat. Or are you? The truth is in there.
Belz’s non-Elvis-centric literature bit of counter-culture genius is broken up into three main parts, much like the back of JFK’s head after the Mauser bullet tore through Dealey Plaza. (Belzer does it better.) The first explores the many controversies and coverups surrounds John F. Kennedy’s assassination. Now, The Belz is a man who has delved deep into the mythology of American culture, and in doing so unearthed several nuggets of truth, some potentially coincidental, some very apparently not. Each door he opens triggers a flood of new questions, so while he may he appear paranoid, his ideas blasphemous, taking up UFOs with a suspension of disbelief is wholly unnecessary. Belzer not only presents his own argument for the JFK conspiracy, but several honest counter-arguments (which inevitably end up “deep-sixed” beneath a mound of common sense.) A good portion of UFOs, JFK, and Elvis is dedicated to neither the former or latter of the title’s subjects, but JFK is only the jumping off point for alien conspiracies to come.
The truth is also in the title; you really are allowed to be a sane human being while entertaining the possibility that Lee Harvey Oswald didn’t act alone, that the single bullet theory is one huge flaw in logic (not to mention science) and that those elusive yet intrusive visitors are probing more than just our butts. You do, however, need an open mind, and a tin-foil hat, lest the Grays attempt to open it for you. Admittedly, before UFOs, JFK, and Elvis I found the possibility of an alien presence on Earth downright silly. Who feels silly now? In all seriousness, Belzer is surprisingly capable of changing stubborn minds, whether or not he intends to.
I consider myself a reasonably open-minded person – an armchair philosopher of sorts – and so it wasn’t difficult to wrap my head around such notions as a multi-party operation to off the President, burying with him all possibility of uncovering the absolute facts of his untimely death. The last minute changes to the motorcade route, an outright denial for extra protection around the President’s car, altered evidence, botched autopsy reports, vanishing eye-witnesses who aren’t moonlighting as magicians – all of this is only the tip of the iceberg. By the time you’re through with section one, you may find yourself pulling a Belz and high-tailing it across the globe. At the very least you’ll garner a new found appreciation for France.
Who says you can’t have some fun on the road to enlightenment? Certainly not the Belz. The man injects funny in places it seems implausible for funny to exist. Often times I found myself chuckling at Belzer’s cleverly witty observations while simultaneously wondering how the government would explain those vivid colors I saw dancing in the clouds a few years back. A few weather balloons, perhaps? Not likely.
Duck and dodge all you like; it’s impossible to deny some semblance of questionability when it comes to the American government. Belzer’s got the info in spades and he knows how to present it. Doing the research of a lone nut requires patience and an ever-growing list of source material. Belzer demonstrates that he has both in spades starting off small and building toward a galaxy-sized climax. The book’s pace is consistently upbeat and heavy as Belzer chucks fact after fact into your pool of knowledge, hopefully leading to your eventual acceptance that there’s definitely a fishy smell in the air. After all, “conspiracy is as American as apple pie.” Upon your arrival at a partial understanding of the American government’s wily ways, shit gets real.
Any self respecting X-Files fan knows we’re not alone on this planet. We’ve been graced by the presence of ETs for who knows how long (besides the CIA)? Non-believer and religious extremists would have a hard time denying a bullet to the brain-pan when crossing onto Area 51. What’s really going on behind those doors? Belzer has a thought (or two) and Alien Agenda author Jim Marrs pops in to offer his two cents as well.
It’s hard to imagine a more humbly explosive piece of writing than UFOs, JFK, and Elvis. Hardcore conspiracy theorists, UFO enthusiasts and intellectual comedy lovers alike won’t come away empty handed. Ten years since its publication, the book is standing the test of time. Belzer’s cunning will keep your eyes strapped to every page, and leave your jaw on the floor. (Better pick it up before the grays get to poking around.)
