An excerpt from our own Bradley’s first textual outing, titled Cook Book, tells us that “…not only must we keep our wits about us when at the kitchen’s helm; our senses must be keen as well. Take due diligence to detect any of the three S’s: salty, sweet, and spicy.” Following his worldly advice, my mouth was on high alert for any indication of type S flavors during my devouring of the Burger King Crispy Double Cheesyburger. I’m sad to report that although the Crispy Double proved a partially delicious and salvageable sandwich, no such flavors were detected in the flame broiled burger’s vicinity.
When you’re at BK, you got it. I was at BK the other day, and I got it. After eating it, I calculated a few methods of tapping in to its potential. First and foremost, however, I’ll admit that for a buck, the Crispy Double packs enough bang to conquer an empty stomach, at least momentarily. The Cheesyburger isn’t lacking quantity, but quality (and truthiness). The flame broiled goodness of your everyday Burger King buy would be complimented nicely by some zest or tang – anything to punch it out of flavor purgatory and into a more extreme direction. The sorrowful little pile of “toppings” is comprised of two ingredients: french fried onions and a sauce BK deems cheesy. Erroneous!
There’s nothing cheesy about the Crispy Double until I get home and put cheese on it. Creamy, at best, would be a more appropriate description, although I can easily see why marketing might have problems pushing a Creamyburger. Regardless, I see the word cheese in relation to a burger and think “one slice”. Up until yesterday, when I saw the word cheesy in burger territory I didn’t know what to expect. As I sit here post-meal, the word Cheesyburger raises nothing but suspicions and my left eyebrow. I suppose a burger called “cheesy” ought to have some sort of cheese sauce, right? Right. Well, Burger King got it wrong. Those in the mood for a dry mess of patties and what I’ve just now decided to call goo crunch (see underside of top bun for proper understanding) won’t be disappointed. The rest may end up sticking with the Rodeo for their flavor fill.
In addition to slapping a dime-sized dollop on top, stick that saucy concoction in between patties and then we’ll talk. Or better yet, throw a slice of cheese in there to break even with your purported advertisements. I can’t imagine the King could go wrong in spicing things up with BK’s own hot sauce, either. You could tell me you rearranged the patties and wrapped the thing upside down and my stomach would find it more soulful than it is now. It may be around for a limited time only, but that doesn’t make it cool or even half awesome to limit its probability for survival in this man-eat-burger world we live in today. Final advice? Buy it, take it home, and make it good (following instructions found inside Cook Book).
>I think it'd be best if they stuck with the Angry Whopper. Not the spiciest burger in the world by far, but it definitely has the three S's.
>Haven't come across this yet…this is the first I've heard of it. Thanks WRS! I still might have to give it a try…I'd buy most anything for around a buck.
>Dude your reviews always make me laugh so much.
>Had one today. Worst decision of my life. 1/7. – kev
>@Ryan – It's certainly worth the old college try, even if it sucks a bit
>You are all idiots. Stope eating this. It is KILLING you.
>We would, but it's just so hard to stope once you stort.
>My husband and I went in to our Burger King (here, in Longmont, Colorado) and got one. And as far as the ratings for this burger go it is pretty much, what everyone else; is saying, on here. No Cheese; and not really any onions. Like the commercial implies. The burger, tastes good. If you want a bland, plain burger. We brought ours home, and put some dill pickle relish on it. My husband; also added ketchup; on his, as well. In my opinion, I would probably; most likely, not get this, if; could not bring this home, and put anything additional; on it. And, as far as anything else; we have ordered; from Burger King; they have not really; gotten, an order right, for us; since, at least 1987 (This is true). Not to be racial; but, these MEXICANS: could not, get it right; if they were shown, how to do it.
>Why do we constntly let these food companies lie to us. When is the last time you saw a product on tv and when you went to purchase it it looked anything like it looked on tv. If I go to the store and bought a gallon of milk and was given a pint of milk we wouldn't put up with it. Not only was I fooled once but twice. I got the burger how could I pass it up for a dollar it looked like it had cheese on tv. When I got home what little cheese there was was on the wrapper. I thought maybe they had run out of the sauce so I went back and asked for extra sauce… will be writing to BK telling them shame on them very disapointed this burger should come with a free drink to was the thing down.
>The cry used to be "wheres the beef" the new cry wheres the cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>mine was good. they actually made it right i guess your burger kings just suck. xoxo
>We've tried multiple BKs at various times and the result has been the same every time. Maybe your standards are just lower.
>But the actresses in the advertisement are great!
>Anonymous from Aug 7, not to sound racist, but all those commas: make you; Sound like white, trash.,,
>Burger king is the worst fast food company big surprise look at who runs it…
>I'm not going to any nation wide companies that don't have email.
>Yeah, the King is kind of a shady guy.
>I like burger king they are pretty good other then doing your order right and the chrispy double is really good i liked it they made it good her in tampa fl. but they stopped selling them but i get a double cheese add chrispy onions mmmmm yummy and for that person that left that races comment bout mexicans she needs to look better next time cause there is not only mexicans there so dont put one race out like that when it can be some one in your race who hired that mexican and who is probably the manger who does a shitty job
I didnt even know they make these, but when they came out with the double cheeseburgers for a dollar, I would make my own…and they were ahhhhmazing and all my friends would order em just like i did. I knew they had crispy onions from the xt, so I would get double chzburgers with only mayo, pickles n chz and add crispy onions and they were delicious. Just wish they would bring back that potato topping