Whenever I find an edible that looks like I would like to edible it, the first thing I make sure to check is whether said edible is triangle shaped (read as shape-ed plz). So you can imagine how dismayed I was upon opening DiGiorno’s Flatbread Melt and finding a square shaped (again, shape-ed) pizza staring me down. Staring me down with its meatball eyes. Peering right through my gaze into my innermost pizza secrets (pizzecrets, if you will). I quickly impaled it with a fork to make sure I was alone in the kitchen, and put the remains in the microwave for three minutes on power eight.
Once these things are cooked, you fold ‘em over on themselves, creating 180 total degrees of pizza goodness, allaying my triangular food worries. The first thing I noticed is that there are too few meatballs (since they’re little), and not enough cheese. The second thing I noticed is that it includes an apparatus with which to make it crispy, much like what comes with a Hot Pocket, but instead shaped like a tiny stage for Crispy Crust and the Meatballs to make their debut performance on. Taking it out of the microwave, I found it really easy to fold the flatbread melt in half, and no breaking or rippage occurred.
The crust only got crispy on the border, and stayed soft in the middle, which is exactly what it seems like should happen. Pizza sauce fans, this is a great item for you to pick up, because what they’re lacking in extra cheese and meatballs, DiGiorno makes up for in sauce. So a significant portion of the flavor of this mother is the sauce, but that’s okay for the most part, because the sauce tasted fresh and delicious. The meatballs had a surprisingly unfrozen taste to them, too. The entire item tasted noticeably like a DiGiorno pizza, but a bit less seasoned. It’s certainly not the most filling microwavable. Basically just a mini frozen pizza, albeit a pretty good one.
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>It tastes like poison!
>I liked it. I wish the meat was bigger, more cheese, and the bread a bit more thinner but then gain, this IS a microwave dish so.
>@Anonymous#1 – I have a feeling that if you knew what poison tastes like, you wouldn't be in any capacity to comment on it, but hey, that's one thing you've experienced that I haven't.@Anonymous#2 – I agree, the picture doesn't quite match the product, but I thought it was pretty good for what it is
>Lots of people have sampled poison before in small portions and not died,so i stand by it tastes like poison.
>Yeah, but then you don't get the full experience!
I've just finished in this sitting, eating two of the flatbread products. I also am without a microwave, so was reduced to heating the products in the oven. Yes, I noted that it states on the package, "Do not use in conventional oven" but thank you, Kraft Foods for putting that in SMALL PRINT ON THE BOTTOM OF THE UNDERSIDE OF THE BOX! Now, I preheated my oven to 400 degrees, and put them in for a little over 20 minutes. Now, let me say that they tasted…